Drop In The Ocean
by icaughtfire
Summary: Can they stand being without each other? What about a happy ending? Chronicles of the Palex relationship. femslash.
1. Introduction

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, or the lyrics, all of which are owned by Michelle Branch.**

**"Drop In The Ocean" **

Introduction

- I was blind  
But oh, how you could see  
**You saw the beauty in everything**,  
everything and me -

We hated each other back then, a hate so searing red and bright that everyone seemed to notice. I wasn't sure why she and I clashed like we did, but I knew she could really push my buttons. We were complete opposites - but that's what was so amazing about it. I wasn't sure when enemies bloomed into friends, but it happened. Our comradery was far more powerful than our hatred had been.

But every story has a beginning, and that is where I must start.

**Author's Note: I had a burst of inspiration after reading a few Palex stories...thus my return. It's been awhile, and don't expect me to start many other stories for awhile, but I plan on updating this one as often as possible. If I can, I should have a lot of chapters. Review and make me feel good because I need the reassurance. **


	2. Sweet Misery

**"Drop In The Ocean" **

Chapter One - Sweet Misery

- Sweet misery you cause me  
_That's what you called me -_

When we met, Paige and I didn't get along. That much was apparent. Paige was a preppy, perky cheerleader with blonde hair and a skinny, bouncy body. I, on the other hand, was a dark brooding druggie who no one bothered to notice, and that was fine with me. But even back then it seemed like I lived for our confrontations. At least then I was being noticed by _someone_, and it just so happened to be someone I secretly wanted to be noticed by. Whenever we came into contact with each other, we would take jabs back and forth, until one of us gave up. I was usually the victor, only because I always had to get the last word in. Beneath our battle was something else, something less clear. The passion we shared for each other. But still, if you had told me then that Paige would become my best friend, and my girlfriend, I would have called you crazy.

"Um, you're in my way." I rolled my eyes as Paige said this. I smirked, gazing down at the tray in her hands. Everything she was eating was disgustingly healthy.  
"On a diet again, I see." I noted as she pushed past me, annoyed. I shrugged, taking a seat at her table.

"Ah, well at least my boyfriend isn't cheating on me with half the school." She shot back nonchalantly.

"I like your shirt. I'd hate to have to bloody it." I answered, stepping closer to her, trying my best to be intimidating.

"Nice attitude. Hate to deflate it by reminding you that you're a loser." Paige replied calmly, taking a step past me.  
"Yeah? Who decided that?" I asked, starting to get pissed off. She had such an attitude.

"Everybody. Majority rules on these matters, sweetie." She snapped back, walking past me and christening a new table as her own. Her friends picked up their stuff and moved over, and I sighed. I didn't have the energy to fight back. It wasn't long before I saw Jay walking my way. He took a seat beside of me, grinning like a madman.

"What do you say we get out of here?" He propositioned, putting his arm around me and pulling me closer to him.

"How about you get your hands off of me? Jay," I stood, staring down at him, the worthless piece of scum. "The whole school knows, and I am sick of you and your cheating ass." I started to walk away when he grabbed me.  
"My cute cheating ass." I rolled my eyes, pushing him away from me. "Come on Lexi, don't be like that." He gave me his puppy dog eyes, but I wasn't going to fall for that.  
"You go to HELL." I answered, picking up my piece of pizza and pushing into his face. The pizza was extra greasy today, and Jay scowled as the hot grease dripped down his face. Satisfied, I left the cafeteria, throwing away my paper tray on the way out.

Jay and I weren't doing very well, obviously. I had known there was something going on, and I found out he'd been getting with girls at the ravine. Several random girls, including my so-called best friend and the local environmental freak. I wasn't too happy with him, needless to say. I didn't need him. He was a jerk and he didn't treat me the way I deserved. So after the incident with Jay, I was in a bad mood and the mood didn't improve when Paige and I were assigned to be partners in Simpson's class. Our assignment was to make a website together. This was supposed to demonstrate our html knowledge along with our ability to cooperate with a partner. I felt like he made us partners because he knew we didn't get along. Simpson was trying to fail us, I could just feel it.

"Ugh, Alex. You can't make the background color black. That looks boring and blah. Make it something better." Paige urged, staring at the computer screen, frustrated.

"What color do you want it to be? Pink? Because I am in no way doing that." I changed it to blue, and Paige said that was fine. But then it came to the graphics. She wanted something cute, and I wanted something that...wasn't. I sighed, gazing at Paige in disdain. "You know what? You design it. I don't give a damn." I got up out of the chair, pushing it over and walking out into the hallway. Paige followed, sitting down beside of me, hugging her knees to her chest.

"Alex, I'm sorry. I know that I get on your nerves and everything, but we have to work together or we're gonna fail this assignment. How about we have one main site, where it's just the intro or whatever, and have links to our own personal sites? That way we can both have it be like whatever we want. Still maintain our...individuality." Paige suggested eagerly, actually pulling off a smile.

"Individuality," I laughed. "Is that what you call it?" I paused for a moment, biting my lip. I gave in, deciding to stop with the remarks and just get the project done. "Alright. Sounds good."

We ended up making the website, and getting an A. Mr. Simpson commented that he liked the way we worked together, and how we kept things seperate but still cooperated in the process. He also said he was glad we didn't end up killing each other. So was I. Little did I know, I was going to be spending a lot more time with Paige, at yet another place I despised. But at least they gave me money for showing up.

----

"Paige?" I stared in disbelief, looking up from the cash register to see her in uniform, making her way behind the counter. Her face fell when she saw me.

"You work here?" She asked quickly, leaning onto the counter and giving me a look.

"Yes, I do. So you'd better be a good girl or else I might have to tell the manager on you. Since I have the seniority and all." A few minutes later, we had our first order. The big movie rush was starting. After all, it was Friday night. Date night. I could tell Paige wasn't thrilled to be there, especially with me, and she wasn't used to spending a Friday behind a counter with greasy popcorn and chocolate candy bars. She was slow at first, but it seemed she was getting the hang of it pretty quick. I couldn't find anything to complain to the manager about, which was a bit of a disappointment.

"So, when did you develop an immense love of popcorn?" I questioned when the rush had finally slowed down. Paige laughed, getting herself a cup of soda and taking a seat.  
"I didn't. I needed to make some money because I kind of owe Spinner some." She shrugged, taking a sip of her Dr. Pepper and fixing her gaze on the carpeted floor.

"Why'd you owe him money?" I was interested now. Spinner was her ex boyfriend, and now she was paying him back for something -- that sounded a bit strange. What could she possibly owe him for?

"Oh, it's a long story. I used his car to get back at my rapist. I messed up his car pretty bad, and he ended up having to talk to the police. He was really upset. I promised him I'd pay for it, and with my own money. I don't regret doing it of course, but I feel bad for doing it with _his _car, and I thought making money this way would be more fair as opposed to just taking the money from my mom. Anyway, it's probably good for me to gain some work experience."

I was silent for a bit, turning it all over in my mind. I had heard something about what happened to Paige, her rape and everything, but didn't trust the rumors. I wasn't sure if I should ask her about it or not. I didn't want her to get upset, because we were getting along really well.

"If you don't mind my asking, what all came of that? I mean, I heard about what he did to you, but I'd like to hear the story from you. I don't want to just...believe the hype." I worded it all very carefully. I was into whatever she was going to say. It helped bring some perspective into who she was. It helped humanize her. I guess because everyone's had pain. Some more than others. Me being part of the some.

"I went to this party, and I met Dean. He was cute and really nice... or so he seemed. We went upstairs, I thought just to, you know, talk or whatever. He wanted more than that. I told him to stop, I told him no, but he didn't listen. He just kept going. I was really...down for awhile. I didn't know what to do. I started getting therapy, and decided to bring him to court. Long story short, they found him not guilty, and I wasn't happy about that. I found his car, and backed Spinner's right into it. It was a great feeling at the time. Now it just all kind of sucks. I can't believe all this happened. It's crazy, you know?" Paige stood up and I felt compelled to hug her, so I did. She resisted at first, but then hugged me back. I smiled unsurely.

"I'm sorry that happened to you. That can't have been an easy thing. You must be really strong."

I realized it then. She** was** strong. That's one of the reasons she and I clashed like we did. We both were strong, with strong personalities. From that day on, I respected and admired her. I wasn't sure quite what was in store, but I knew we were on the path to becoming friends.


	3. Desperately

**"Drop In The Ocean"**

Chapter Two - Desperately

- Something 'bout the way you looked at me  
Made me think for a moment,  
That _maybe we were meant to be _-

I smiled, leaning back into the burgundy cushioned chair of the theatre. I felt her arm brush against mine and shivered slightly, blood rushing to my face. I was thankful the theatre was dark because otherwise she might have noticed.

"Only real perk to the job. Free movies." I began coolly, pretending my heart wasn't beating like a hyperactive child with a drum set. I wasn't quite sure why she made me so nervous. Around her I felt like I needed to be on my best behavior, like I needed to impress her.

"Yes, it's _tres_ cool." Paige replied, shrugging into her seat and turning her attention back the movie screen. We were sitting there watching some chick flick she picked out, and I just went along because...I couldn't quite put my finger on exactly why I wanted to sit there with her and watch some sappy crappy movie, but I was there. That's what mattered, right?

"There you are with the French. I don't know the language," I grinned as I continued. "But I do love the fries." Paige laughed, touching my arm when she did. I knew it was a gesture of friendship, but a lump formed in my throat and I thought I couldn't breathe. "Bathroom." I said quickly, jumping up from my seat and rushing off.

What was wrong with me? Sure, Paige was an attractive girl, but I wasn't _into_ girls. I had never been before. Paige, though...her blue eyes shimmered like diamonds made of ice, her hair was soft, and her arms, welcoming. My favorite thing about her was the way mouth twisted up when she smiled. A real smile, not one of her fake ones. It made me want to make her smile forever. She was drop dead gorgeous, I knew that, and even beyond that she was beautiful. On the outside she looked like any average beauty queen, but on the inside she was as fucked up as I was -- she just didn't always show it. Those flaws are what made her so amazing.

I stared into the mirror, searching for some sort of answer in my own eyes, like they held the secrets of the universe. As I heard the bathroom door open and footsteps approach, I knew it was Paige coming in to check on me. Her perfume was present in the air, a smell I'd grown to love. Her hand fell to my shoulder and I turned around, making eye contact. Worry lines showed on her forehead as she frowned.

"Are you alright?" She asked me, not taking her eyes off of mine.  
"I just feel a little sick right now, that's all." I lied, turning back around and splashing some cold water on my face. She sighed sadly, waiting for me to turn around again, and I did.

"I'll take you home." Paige replied quickly. I nodded in response and we made our way out of the theatre, and to Paige's car. Because it was late, the night was dark and chilly. Aside from the stereo that was blasting some love song, the car ride was silent. I noticed Paige starting to sing along when it came to the chorus and I smiled a little bit. I had always loved her voice- it had a strong quality to it, and it was stunning.

- Oh why can't I ignore it?  
I keep giving it in but I should know better  
'Cause there was something 'bout _the way you looked at me_  
**And it's strange that things change **  
But not me wanting you so desperately -

"Here we are," She interrupted my thoughts as she said this, and I looked out the window. She was right. There my apartment complex was, sitting there looking completely unfriendly. I didn't want to leave. When she pushed a strand of hair out of my eyes, her fingertips grazed my cheek and I smiled again. "Hope you feel better soon." I nodded, opening the car door and stepping out onto the cracked sidewalk.

"Already do." I answered quietly, walking inside and into the life I'd rather escape from. My footsteps seemed to echo through my head as I heard her car speed away and into the night. I opened the front door to the apartment, the smell of booze immediately reaching my nostrils. I quickened my pace and went to my room, closing and locking the door behind me. Finally, I could relax a little. Both Mom and Chad were passed out, which would mean no fighting for the rest of the night, and silence was rare in this household.

I threw myself onto the bed, not even bothering to change into sleep clothes. I closed my eyes, pulling the covers up around me. It wasn't long before I was asleep, and dreaming.

_"Beautiful."_

**A/N: My inspiration is still going strong. This is a shorter chapter, but that's because I didn't want to drag it along. I already have all the chapters laid out, plot ideas figured out. There should be around eleven chapters; twelve if you include the introduction. Anyway, if you like this, please review, it makes me feel good.**


	4. I'd Rather Be In Love

**"Drop In The Ocean"**

Chapter Three - I'd Rather Be In Love

- I just want you near me  
I just want you here with me  
And **I'd give up everything only for you**  
It's the _least_ that I could do -

I picked up the phone, staring at it for a long time before I dialed Paige's number. I was going crazy thinking about her. I had to see her. It was Saturday. What did people do on Saturdays? Maybe I should ask her to lunch. Yeah, that sounded reasonable, I guessed.

"Paige, it's Alex." I stated, in case she couldn't tell.  
"I know who you are, I recognize your voice." Paige answered quickly.

"Oh, right," I was feeling very nervous. I didn't want her to think I was clingy, or weird, and most of all I didn't want her to know about what I felt for her. Especially since I wasn't entirely sure of it yet. "So I was wondering if you'd want to go out to lunch."  
"Sure, why not?" She replied, and I made a mental note to do a happy dance later.

"Ok, I'll meet you at the dot around two." I tried to keep my voice steady, not willing to let her sense my excitement.  
"See you then."

I hung up the phone giddily, prancing around the room in happiness. I knew I looked stupid, but I was so happy that I didn't care. I was acting like a child, but I couldn't help it. Paige was the one thing that kept me sane, that kept the world from crashing apart.

"Lexi, are you high?" My mom asked me. I just laughed at her. No, I wasn't high. She wasn't used to seeing me in a good mood. I smiled as I took a hot shower and got dressed, pulling on a pair of tight jeans and a tank top. I stepped outside, beginning my walk to the dot.

--

I checked my watch for the tenth time. I knew I was early, but I couldn't have just sat at home trying to pass time. Two o'clock was exactly five excruciating minutes away. Unless Paige was going to be early. Then she could walk in at any moment. The waiter came up to the table, smiling and taking out his order book once again.  
"Decide on anything yet?" He asked perkily. I could sense the undertone of annoyance in his voice.

"Well, my friend should be here soon. Just get me a glass of water to start off with, 'kay?" I settled back into my seat, fidgeting anxiously. I practically jumped up when I heard the bell on the door ring its' familiar song.

There she was. The girl I hadn't stopped thinking about for day. Wow, she looked hot. Had she always been this hot? It was her hair, it was diffrent. She had donesomething to it, but what? It looked really good. Really, really good. I told myself to shut up and stop talking to myself, because Paige was starting to look at me like I was crazy.

"Hey," Paige greeted, eyes sparkling.

"Hey, yourself." I didn't take my eyes off of her as she sat down beside of me, knee brushing against mine lightly. I felt my heart flutter.

"I like your hair." I realized as soon as I said it that it might have sounded stupid. She smiled, thanking me. She told me about how she was sick of being blonde and decided to go brown, but now she hated her hair and was going to dye it back. I thought she looked good with brown hair, but I didn't argue with her reasoning.

"Hey, you know how Barbie has a friend that has brown hair? What's her name? Is it Theresa?" I asked, babbling on stupidly. Paige laughed, shrugging as she did so.

"I think so. Random much?" She was interrupted by the waiter, who returned, and looked happy that Paige had finally arrived. He took our order and disappeared magically, right at the moment I needed a refill. It figured. Well, he wasn't getting a tip.

"So," I was pathetically trying to think of something to talk about. "You do realize that if Heather Sinclair sees your hair, she's going to rethink being blonde, right?" Paige rolled her eyes. She hated Heather Sinclair. All of us did. She tried so hard to be 'cool', but never succeeded.

"Well, that's inevitable. Oh god, remember when Ashley got her hair cut really short and Heather Sinclair decided to copy her? It took like a year for it all to grow back. It was terrible," She paused, gazing at me for a moment. "Wait a sec, you didn't go to our school then, did you? I forgot. It feels like I've known you forever."

I felt like I'd known her forever, too. I wished that I had. I would've had a much happier life than I did, and maybe my childhood would have sucked a whole lot less.

"I know what you mean." I said simply, as the waiter came back to refill our drinks and bring us our food. My stomach growled when I saw my plate, heaving with french fries and a gigantic burger. "Wow, I think this is the best burger I've ever had in my life." I continued, after taking a bite of it. It really was wonderful.

"What were you like when you were growing up?" Paige asked, sounding genuinely interested.

"Well, my mom was the same way back then, and I needed her, but I ended up raising myself, I guess you'd say. My grandma helped me out sometimes, though. She died a few years ago. I wasn't happy go lucky like most kids, I suppose. I was an outcast just because things weren't going great in my life, and I wasn't 'normal'. Whatever though, I grew up just fine, right?" Her hand grabbed mine, and unsurely, I squeezed it.

"You're pretty amazing." She replied quietly, with a smile.

**A/N: Soon there will be a switching of POVs, but I'll make sure to indicate whose.**


	5. Washing Machine

**"Drop In The Ocean"**

Chapter Four - Washing Machine

- I'm not just gonna stand around,  
Waiting for my lips to be read,  
falling through the cracks in the ground,  
_my feelings need to be said_ -

**PAIGE'S POV**

_Paige, you don't like her. You can't. You're straight._

That's what I kept telling myself as I stared at Alex, for all the world to see. She'd asked me to meet her at the dot. I'd been surprised, but was happy she invited me._  
_I was more confused than I had ever been. I wasn't a...lesbian. I'd been with guys before, and only guys. So how come I was having these feelings for her? She was perfect. The way I felt when any part of our bodies touched? Unexplainable. I knew having these feelings for Alex was one step away from drowning, but I didn't care anymore. Maybe drowning was just what I needed.

When I sat down, I felt Alex's eyes on me. I wasn't sure if it was just a normal gaze, or if it was something beyond that. I was trying to read into everything she did, but was failing horribly. I couldn't tell friendliness from...whatever _I_ was feeling. She complimented my hair, and I smiled, thanking her even though I thought my hair looked horrible. I found myself unable to break our eye contact, for fear that if I turned around for one second, she'd be gone. That's the way it was with Alex. She was unpredictable, the complete opposite of me. I planned things, I used calendars, I made schedules. She was spontaneous, did things out of nowhere and sometimes for no reason. That's what I both loved and hated about her.

Alex brought up Heather Sinclair, a topic I could always elaborate on. I began talking about the time she copied Ashley's horrific hairdo when I realized that I hadn't known Alex for as long as I'd thought. It felt like I'd known her forever, and I wasn't sure exactly why. In that moment I decided that I wanted to know every little thing about her.

"What were you like when you were growing up?" I asked her, trying to picture her as a kid. Somehow, I couldn't. She seemed like the type who never really got to be a kid. I listened as Alex told me about how she practically had to raise herself, feeling sad for her.

"I grew up just fine, right?" She questioned, her face twisting into a grin. I instinctively grabbed her hand, and feeling her squeeze it, answered.

"You're pretty amazing."

There. I'd said it.

Alex smiled, still holding my hand in hers. I felt my throat began to swell up and I let go, anxiously picking up my glass of water and taking giant gulps. I was starting to feel sick. What if she didn't like me? What if I was imagining all of this? What if I was having some stupid lesbian fantasy that would never happen? I got up from the table suddenly, laying down a ten dollar bill and turning to Alex, giving her an apologetic smile.

"I'm **so **sorry, I just got sick all of the sudden. It hit me out of nowhere and...I think I'm gonna go home. Go home and um, sleep. So, see you later." I got out of there as fast as humanly possible, wanting to get out of Alex's sight. Being around her was making me crazy. I couldn't take it. As soon as I was out of there, however, I started aching for her all over again. Her smile, I loved to make her smile. It had been so rare before, she'd always had a scowl on her face, and I'd changed that. I'd made her my friend.

Why wasn't I happy just being her friend anymore? Why did I have the overwhelming urge to kiss her? Why hadn't I kissed her already? I asked myself these questions and more as I drove home, some sappy love song on the radio. I couldn't help but cry. I let the tears spill free, not caring about my mascara running. I could fix it when I got home. It seemed the only thing the radio played anymore was love songs. It was proposterous! I smiled, laughing at myself as I pulled into my driveway, shutting off the car and gladly going inside. On my way to the door I wiped my eyes, hoping that it wasn't too obvious that I'd been crying. I went inside, automatically making my way to the fridge. I opened the freezer, taking out a pint of Ben & Jerrys. Ice cream could solve everything.

"She's pulled out the Ben & Jerrys, ladies and gentlemen," Dylan announced in an obnoxious voice, one like you'd here on the game show network. "Paige, what's wrong?" He was home for the weekend, and by the look on his face, I could tell he was concerned. He knew me better than anyone else, and I couldn't hide from him.

"If I told you that nothing was wrong, would you pretend like I was telling you the truth and leave me alone like a good big brother?" I asked, frowning as I took a bite of the heavenly ice cream. Ben and Jerry sure knew how to make something good, I could give them kudos for that.

"Not a chance. Besides, only a big brother can decide what a big brother does," He smiled, sitting down beside of me and patting my head. I couldn't help but feel like a dog. "Now, tell me what's bothering you. Or are you going to make me have to guess? Cause you know I'm a crappy guesser, little sister."

"I like someone." I said quickly, all the blood rushing to my face. Sure, Dylan was gay, but I could in no way gauge the reaction I was going to get from him when I told him that I, his sister, liked a girl.

"Alright, and the need for chocolate comes in where?" He questioned, running a hand through his thick blonde hair. I sighed, gazing at him before I answered.

"I like someone I...shouldn't." I told him, careful with my word choice. I wasn't ready to tell him exactly who yet. Alex wasn't the nicest person in his eyes. He'd only heard the bad things from Marco when they ran against each other for president, and the things I said about her when I hated her.

"Paige, let me tell you something. When it comes to love, or liking someone, there are no boundaries. None. No one can tell you who to like, and no amount of pressure from other people can override the feelings you have. Believe me, I should know. And whatever reason you think you shouldn't like this person is irrelevant. Just take a chance. I mean, when's the last time you did something that you weren't exactly sure how it would turn out?" I nodded, putting down my spoon and throwing my arms around him. He was perfect. He always said the right thing, the thing that I needed to hear.

"Go get the girl." Dylan urged, grinning widely.

"What?" I asked, surprised. I hadn't said anything. How had he known?  
"Oh, like I couldn't tell. Paige, you've been talking about nothing but Alex for weeks. Now seriously, get out of here before I have to throw you out myself." He stood, emphasizing the point. I laughed, practically running out the door. I got back into my car, pushing down on the gas and driving back to the dot. Hopefully she was still there.

There she was on the sidewalk, on her way home.

I stopped the car, putting it in park on the side of the road, and jumping out after her. She turned around, a look of confusion on her face.  
"What are you doing here?"

"What I should've done a long time ago."

**A/N: This chapter was BEYOND difficult for me to write. It's tough for me to do Paige's POV, and I wanted to try and do her justice. Yes, a short chapter, but for a good reason.**


	6. Leap Of Faith

**"Drop In The Ocean"**

Chapter Five - Leap Of Faith

- It's a leap of faith,  
when you believe there's someone out there,  
**It's a leap of faith,**  
when you believe that someone cares,  
and when I call out to you,  
_will you_ be right there? -

**PAIGE'S POV**

Right there in the middle of town, the whole world as my witness, I did what I'd wanted to do for longer than I could remember. I kissed her. It was a shallow kiss at first, but grew deeper as we both realized exactly what was happening. I let my hands settle on her hips, kissing her a third time and closing my eyes. It was the most amazing feeling I'd ever felt, and it made me want to kiss her everywhere, in front of everyone. I smiled as our kiss ended, shaking like a leaf. Alex's brown eyes were rimmed with tears. I looked at her, not sure of what to say.

"Before you ask, these are happy tears." She choked out, wiping her falling tears away. "Happy, oh so happy tears." She grabbed me in a tight hug, overwhelmed with emotion.

"Oh, you're so cute." I told her, swooping down for yet another kiss, but missing this time. I managed to kiss her chin on accident. Alex laughed.  
"You missed my mouth." Everything was complete now. I could feel it in the deepest part of me, a wholeness I couldn't describe. I wasn't sure what was to come, what I was, what she and I were, but I did know that she made me happier than anyone else ever had. And that was enough for me.  
"You'll just have to help me out next time." I flirted, batting my eyelashes dramatically.

"Mmm, sounds like a plan," She kissed my forehead then looked into my eyes, the grin not leaving her face. "I really don't wanna kiss and run, but my mom called me, she sounded really upset. I need to get home. I'm afraid something might have happened to her." Alex frowned now, and I nodded in understanding.

"I'll drive you."

--

Night was just beginning to fall as I sat there on my bed, not believing what I had done. For once in my life I did something unplanned. And it felt amazing.  
I heard footsteps approaching and immediately recognized them as Dylan's. He always dragged his feet when he walked. I'd never met an athlete so lazy they couldn't take the time to pick their feet up. He joined me, taking a seat beside of me on my bed and grinning knowingly.

"So, how'd it go?" He asked, anxious. "You look happy." He noted, squeezing my hand.

"I kissed her, and kissed her, and kissed her." I blushed as I answered him. I couldn't believe I was actually telling someone about this.

"Aww, my little sister has her first girlfriend!" Dylan practically squealed with joy, hugging me.

"God, do you want the whole UNIVERSE to hear you? Including mom, who might not be so happy to know she's definitely not having any grandkids. Besides, she's not my girlfriend." I said stubbornly, sticking out my lip in defiance. "Yet." Dylan laughed, shaking his head.

"Yet being the operative word."

I picked up my pillow, throwing at him. He caught it, throwing it back at me.

"Wow, it really is pouring the rain out there," I changed the subject, looking out the window. He took a place beside of me, looking out the window as well. A smile found its way onto his face.

"Looks like there's someone standing out there." He winked, making his way out the door. I squinted, opening up the window and sure enough, he was right. It was Alex. She was standing there in the rain, outside my window. It was like one of those sappy movies that I loved so much, except it was real and it was happening to me.

"PAIGE! I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!" I could barely hear her over the rain pounding down.

"HOLD ON A SEC!" I yelled back, closing my window and running downstairs, out the door, and to her. She was beautiful, her dark hair matted to her head, clothes completely soaked. "Now, what was that?" I asked, feeling her body shiver against mine.

"I said, I want to be with you." Alex repeated, capturing my lips in a forceful kiss. I threw my arms around her neck, kissing her back in a flurry of emotion. There we were, kissing in the rain.

"I love you." I said when we broke contact. I didn't know where that came from, but as soon as I said it, I knew it was real. She looked a bit surprised.

"I love you, too." I knew she meant it. Alex was the type to only say something she meant, something she felt all the way to the core. She'd told me that once, and I was glad to know that. She loved me. I loved her. And it didn't seem to matter anymore that we were both girls, and very foolish girls at that. Standing there in the rain was bound to make both of us sick with pnemonia.

"How about you come inside and dry off? We've got towels." I led her inside, closing the door behind her. I grabbed some towels from the bathroom and handed one to her. We dried off and she stood there, unsure of what to do. I took her hand, leading her up to my bedroom.

"You can wear something of mine. You're completely soaked."  
"I can't help but be wet when I'm around you," Alex answered. I let out a laugh of disbelief. She was deliberately trying to make me blush, and she succeeded. "I'm sorry. Couldn't resist."

I grabbed some clothes for her, throwing them on the bed and then getting some for myself, taking a step toward the doorway. She looked at me, raising her eyebrows.

"You're changing in here. I'm changing in the bathroom."

"Oh, okay. I see what you're doing. You don't want to go horribly blind after seeing me naked. Don't worry, I understand." She pouted, crossing her arms.

"Believe me, I don't think I'd go blind. It's just, my mom's here, and I don't want to...do anything we're not ready for." I explained, closing the door.

"What, you think you're actually going to get lucky?" Alex answered. I laughed, going into the bathroom to change my clothes.

"You've got a naked girl in your room," Dylan teased, standing in the doorway.  
"Get out, I'm trying to change. And yes, I'm aware."

"Then how come you're not in there with her?" He asked suggestively, leaning onto the door frame.  
"Because," I hissed. "It's too soon," I stopped, turning red. "Besides, I um, am not sure what to do or how to do it, anyway. So even if I wanted to..."

"You're so deprived. You don't know how to make love to a woman."  
"You're forgetting that you don't know how either." I winked, closing the bathroom door and drying myself off before I changed.

"I'VE SEEN MOVIES!" Dylan yelled through the door, retreating back into his bedroom. I heard Alex laughing in my room, and knew she had heard the entire conversation. I could tell this was the beginning of something beautiful.

- I'll be waiting by the window for your smile to come through,  
and I'll be waiting in the darkness when I call out to you,  
and I'll remember when you told me,  
_I could trust in you _-


	7. One Of These Days

**"Drop In The Ocean"**

Chapter Six - One Of These Days

- One of these days  
_I won't be afraid _of staying with you  
I hope and I pray  
Waiting to find a way back to you  
Cause **that's where I'm home **-

**PAIGE'S POV**

I was happy. Knee-slapping, crazy dancing, cake eating happy. I knew it would only last a short while, until things really got to register in my mind. My relationship with Alex, which had officially changed to dating, was wonderful. She and I didn't act much different than before, aside from the physical contact. We still casually flirted back and forth, teasing each other. I really was happy.

But beneath my happiness was fear.

Fear that she and I wouldn't be together forever. Fear that our ending would come too soon. And what made that fear was the fact that I was going to be leaving Degrassi. I was, hopefully, going to college at Banting. I wasn't sure about what would happen with Alex and I. I assumed she was going to come with me, but couldn't be certain, as predicting Alex's actions was impossible.

I knew it had to come eventually. The dreaded discussion where I would finally find out what she wanted. I would tell her I was going to Banting, and would nonchalantly ask what she was doing. I was hoping for something I could hold onto, but I knew deep down that Alex probably wouldn't want to come. She was stubborn, she hated change, and I didn't think Banting was her idea of fun.

It came up in Mrs. Hatzilakos' class. We were talking about scholarships, and I was nervous I wouldn't get one. I was about to have a nervous breakdown, actually.

"Maybe I'll get a tattoo." Alex said boredly, contemplating ways to destroy her body.  
"Hello, discussing the future here. My future. As in things that could affect the rest of my life!" I got a bit annoyed with her. How could she just ignore me like that? Of course, that was the Alex way. She was so maddening sometimes  
"Or I could learn how to play the bass!" She sounded really excited about this, and I had to fight the urge to smile. She would look hot playing bass. But still! She wasn't listening to me! She was so adorable. Wait -- anger, I was angry.

"These are your future plans? Things that could happen next week?" I asked, gazing at her in disbelief. I'd planned out my future up to five years from now. Well, aside from Alex, who I wasn't sure about. Since she hadn't given me any indication of her opinion, I didn't know what exactly I was doing. But I did want her to go with me.

She managed to dissolve all my anger at one simple touch.

"It's called living in the now and we both know the most important thing about the now is _me_." Alex grinned, and so did I. She was so cute. I couldn't stay mad at her right now.

The subject came up again at work. And this time, it was worse. I was beginning to really see Alex's true feelings - feelings I wasn't sure I wanted to know about anymore. I was used to getting what I wanted, and it was upsetting that Alex was so unsure about coming with me to Kingston. But I had been half expecting it. She was so stubborn.

"I didn't get into Banting." Alex told me simply.

"And don't forget topping halfway and then on top." A customer said, waiting for Alex to give him his popcorn. He was beginning to get impatient. Unfortunately, so was Alex.

"Well maybe you could come with. We could get our own cozy little place." I suggested. Living with Alex did sound nice. I couldn't imagine the wonderfulness of waking up next to her every morning. It would be like heaven on earth.  
"Sounds cozy, but what would I actually do in Kingston?" It came down to this. Good question, Alex. I struggled to come up with an acceptable answer.  
"You could work. Get a transfer from the movie theatre." I knew it was a stupid thing to say as soon as it slipped out of my mouth. I could tell by the look on her face.

"You can keep that topping coming, miss." The customer interrupted, still watching Alex. He was growing more impatient by the second. He was practically foaming at the mouth, he wanted the popcorn that bad. That wasn't healthy. And all the butter Alex was putting on it? That wasn't healthy, either.

"You'll be studying your butt off and making new friends and I'll still be dishing out popcorn?" Alex asked in disbelief. She couldn't believe I had even suggested that. I couldn't believe it either. She hated working at the movie theatre. I knew that. But it was the only thing I could think of. I wanted her to come with me. I wanted us to stay together.

"Miss, do I have to show you what I mean by more topping myself?" Alex HATED being called miss. She glared at the customer, pressing the butter pump down several more times. I felt like gagging when I imagined how buttery the popcorn was. It could give a healthy man a heart attack. Maybe it would give him one, if we were lucky.

Then she said it. What I had been thinking.

"Can't wait for your heart attack."

The customer took his popcorn, scowling at Alex. His look of disdain turned into one of pleasure when he noticed the manager standing nearby.  
"Next time you insult a customer, maybe not in front of your manager."

Alex's face turned panicked. She turned around, and sure enough, there the manager was.  
"Alex, can I see you in my office?"  
My stomach churned. Great. That couldn't be good. It didn't sound good. Meeri was a bitch, I knew that, and she wouldn't take any shit. I couldn't help but feel responsible for Alex getting in trouble. It was, in a way, my fault. I needed to teach her when to shut her mouth. I knew it had to get her in trouble eventually.

---

"The evil one made me clean the bathrooms. Then she fired me."  
I felt increasingly terrible when Alex told me this. I wanted to grab her in a hug right there. That meant we didn't work together anymore. My only reason for coming to work was her. And now, she wouldn't be working with me. It was depressing. I couldn't imagine what it would be like dealing with customers without her smart remarks to cheer me up.

"For the topping incident?" I asked in surprise. I still couldn't believe it. Fired.  
"Strike 3. Goodbye polyester, hello unemployment. I don't want this stupid job. It's time I move on. Do something else." Alex answered bitterly.  
"Anything in mind?" I questioned, trying to picture her doing another job.

"Right now? No. I just got fired. Can we lay off the career planning just for tonight? I have to go. See you tomorrow?" She gave me a quick kiss, and left, leaving me there by myself. My happiness from getting into Banting was dampered by her unemployment. She was devastated, I could tell.

I saw her the next day in English class. We'd gotten our papers back, and I had gotten an A. I said something about being close to the scholarship, and Alex completely changed the subject. It was obviously something she wasn't too excited about. To tell the truth, I wasn't looking forward to **the talk**, whenever it would come.

"Let's cut class tomorrow. Do something we've never done before. Something wild and crazy and totally nuts!" Alex suggested, eyes flickering with excitement. When I said nothing, she continued. "Or there's a sale on at the mall." Way to tempt me with something I couldn't possibly say no to! I'd never pass up an opportunity to go the mall. There was nothing like a sale to brighten my mood. But my mood just got worse.

She decided to be stupid and slip a cd into my purse, causing the alarm to go off in the store. I ran in and apologized, not amused. I wanted to wring Alex's neck, and I told her what she did was stupid and embarrassing.  
"Could you not be such a drama queen?" She cracked, gazing at me in annoyance.  
"Can you not be so immature?" I asked back, then continued unsurely. It came down to this. "I can't do this."

"Can't do what?" She questioned, mind racing. Her eyes darted back and forth, and I could tell she was nervous.  
"This living in the moment thing. I need structure, plans, ideas and maybe just a little excitement about the future. Our future." I emphasized the last word, trying to make her understand.

"It's your future Paige, not mine." Alex said simply.  
"What does _that _mean?" Then began the a game of Mortal Kombat.

Fight!

"It means I have to figure out what I want, what's good for me. Following you to Banting, working some crap minimum wage job and being your lapdog. Does that sound good?" This was a rhetorical question, but I shook my head. "Maybe I'll go to college, maybe I'll join the army, maybe I'll start a business. I don't know, but I have to figure it out on my time table."

Oh no. It was getting progressively worse.

Finish him!

"What are you trying to say?"  
"I think you can figure it out. You always were the smart one Paige."

There it was. Alex had won.

She ripped my heart out with those words. She wasn't planning on going with me to Banting. She wasn't planning on being with me at all. We had just broken up, and I felt like locking myself in my room for the rest of my life. I was in shock. Utter and complete shock. I couldn't imagine my life without her.

I felt numb. Walking into the Dot, I saw Spinner. My legs carried me over to him, unwillingly.  
"Spinner," I broke down then, sobbing. I threw my arms around him, not caring that I was in public. His touch felt familiar to me. He smelled like a guy. He looked like a guy. He felt like a guy. He _was_ a guy. Most importantly, he **wasn't** Alex.

That's all that mattered in that moment. It all happened faster than made any sense. It was probably better to happen that way than to happen slow. At least I didn't have to feel anything.  
But as soon as it was over, I regretted it.

"Oh god. Spin, get off." I pushed him off of me, getting up from the bed and grabbing my clothes in a hurry. I couldn't do this. Why did I do this? What kind of monster was I? I used Spinner, someone who knew me better than anyone else, just to get back at Alex. To try and get over her. I knew it wouldn't work, but I did it anyway. And Spinner was the clingy type. He had a girlfriend, yes, but somehow I figured he wouldn't leave me alone after this.

**A/N: I realize this chapter is mostly what happened in High Fidelity Pt 1. I even used the same dialogue. That's because I didn't want to mess with a good thing. So forgive me for that. But at least it's a longer chapter.**


	8. Til I Get Over You

**"Drop In The Ocean"**

Chapter Seven - Til I Get Over You

- Sometimes I watch the world go by  
I wonder what it's like  
To wake up every single day  
**Smile on your face** -

**ALEX'S POV**

There it was, the break up, and I had done it. I could feel my heart being ripped out of my chest at every word. It was like a self inflicted suicide, painful beyond comparison to anything.  
I just wanted to go home and sleep, to not have to think about it for awhile. But when I approached the apartment complex, Jay was there, sitting there on the couch. He was the last person I wanted to see, but he knew me so well, and could tell something was wrong. When I told him what happened, he offered a quick rebound. I was disgusted. I couldn't even think of being with anyone else right now, especially a guy. Especially Jay.

"Jay. I'm not bi, I'm not confused, I'm a lesbian. Actually a lesbian who just broke up with her first girlfriend and it sucks." I could feel my voice breaking. Don't cry Alex, not in front of this douchebag.

"I'm sorry," He frowned, running a hand through his unkempt hair. "This is one of the first times I've said sorry and actually meant it."  
I stared at him. "This is one of the first times you said sorry and I actually believed it."

Maybe it wasn't impossible for him and I to be friends. I sat there on the couch with him and he kept his arms around me protectively. It felt nice, but only in the sense that I needed someone there with me. It was a little strange that of all people, he was the one that was there. I never expected that with everything we'd been through.

Nothing got better the next day at school. Sure, it was almost time for graduation, but there still had to be school, the worst form of torture. When I saw Hazel coming towards me with a smirk on her face, I grimaced. I knew it was going to be something bad. She couldn't be _that_ happy if it weren't something bad.  
"So, did you hear about your girl getting her much needed dose of man last night?" She asked, not taking her eyes off of me. I gazed at her, confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, you mean you don't know? Sorry to spoil the surprise, but Paige and Spin totally did it last night." I felt my stomach drop when the words made their way out of her mouth.  
"What? Jesus freak broke his vow of purity? What the hell," I bit my lip, practically drawing blood. If I had been in a better position, I would've made a crack at Hazel referring to Spinner as a man, but was too upset at the moment to make any jokes. "But we just broke up. It doesn't...make sense that Paige would do that."

"Sure it does. All it took was a little time away for you to realize she wasn't a..." Hazel wouldn't say the word, like it was contagious or something. I rolled my eyes.  
"Lesbian. Come on Hazel, you can say it without actually becoming one." I clenched my fists, wanting so badly to just throw a punch. Anything to get my mind off of my throbbing headache and the near-heart attack I was having. Hazel scowled, walking away and leaving me there, completely stunned.

The rest of the day I walked around like a zombie. I avoided Paige like the black plague. I couldn't see her face, I couldn't, not after what I knew. It was bad enough that we were over, but sleeping with the poofy haired born again virgin ex boyfriend? That was fucking low. I was more upset than I'd ever been. My emotions were getting the best of me. I felt so betrayed, so lost. Paige was a part of me. We had a connection. She had to go and fuck it up. We could've remained friends, and I really hoped we would have, but this was too much to deal with.

After school, I went directly home. No one was there. I figured my mom was out somewhere buying some more booze. The only time she was gone was when she ran out of it. I sighed, collapsing onto my rock hard bed. Tears spilled out of my eyes, and I was shaking like an addict going through withdrawal. I could barely breathe I was crying so hard. And then, at the worst possible time, there was a knock on the door. I made my way to the front door, sniffling and wiping my eyes, wondering who could possibly want to come over to my house.

I was face-to-face with Marco. He let himself in and I stood there, still in the doorway. I turned around and looked at him, at a loss for words. He looked sad.  
"I heard."

He sat down on the couch, and I took a seat beside of him. I felt his fingers link with mine, and it was quiet for awhile. I could tell he was having problems forming words as well.  
"I know you're going through a tough time right now. But Paige does stupid shit when she gets upset. You need to realize that. Being with Spinner didn't mean anything to her, and she's sorry. I just want you both to get back together. You're perfect for each other."

"We didn't break up because of Spinner. We broke up because we're going seperate ways. But the Spinner thing, that's going way too far. We might have been perfect for each other before, but I guess not anymore." I could taste the bitterness in my words, and Marco looked alarmed. He knew I was beyond upset.

"Maybe we can fix it. I can fix it. I'll talk to Paige. We can work this out." Oh Marco, always the optimist. That's what I loved -- and hated -- about him.  
"No, Marco. It's fucked up beyond repair. You can't slap a band-aid on this and hope it gets better. It's over. Completely over, and I really don't think we'll ever be back together again."

- You never tried  
We both know we can't change it  
But we both know _we'll just have to face it _-

**A/N: A _really _short chapter due to a variety of reasons, but I won't give you any excuses. I'll have a new chapter up tomorrow. I already have a sequel in the works, & after I finish the last chapter, chapter 11, I'll start it. I plan on making this into a trilogy eventually, depending on the demand.**


	9. Something To Sleep To

**"Drop In The Ocean"**

Chapter Eight - Something To Sleep To

- She puts on her makeup  
The _same _way she did yesterday  
Hoping everything's the same  
But **everything has changed **-

**PAIGE'S POV**

_**flashback**_

_"I'm not even supposed to like people like you. People who, who wear black with navy and who hate everything and everyone."  
"I don't hate you. Even if you are one of the popular idiots who drinks lattes and reads stupid magazines and laughs way too loud."_

_"I have to laugh when I'm around you. I can't really help it."  
"And I have to be better when I'm around you. I can't help it either." _

That moment was so fresh in my mind. It was a conversation we'd had not long ago, but now it felt like ages. And that kiss, that wonderful kiss. It felt centuries away. I hated feeling like that. She and I weren't Palex anymore. We were Paige and Alex. Two seperate people living two seperate lives, apart from each other. It was over, even though I wasn't ready for it to be.

I knew it would hurt her. Maybe that's part of the reason why I did it, as an act of revenge. But no matter the reason, I had slept with Spinner, my ex boyfriend. It was a huge mistake, a stupid mistake. I got irrational when I was upset. That was no excuse, because there was no excuse for what I did. I didn't even enjoy any minute of being with him. I felt even worse afterwards. Maybe I **was **gay. No, that wasn't it. I was just madly in love with Alex.

I had no idea what to do. There was nothing I could say to ease the hurt she was bound to be feeling right now. Hazel told her what happened, being spiteful like she is, and I couldn't believe it. Once I got over the initial shock, I got into it with my so-called best friend.

"How dare you tell her! You had no right to. I told you what happened in confidence. I didn't want anyone to find out. Especially her." I yelled, red-faced.  
"Why are you protecting her? She's a stupid dyke, she can take it." Hazel replied.

"Hazel, you're about as sensitive as a machine gun. I don't understand why I ever even talked to you." I spat back angrily, stomping away.

_"Right now you're pretty much everything."_

She had been, and she was. She was everything I thought about, every tear I cried, every aching moment I felt. She was the love of my life. She was the one, and I knew it.

----

Graduation had come. The moment I'd looked forward to my entire life. As I sat there, waiting for my name to be called out, I realized it wasn't how I'd pictured it. If you'd have told me a few years ago that I'd be madly in love with a girl who hated me, going to the school of my dreams (that I wasn't sure I wanted to go to anymore), and actually graduating with honors, I would have laughed. I would've recommended you be put in a padded cell for the rest of your miserable life. But that's how it was.

I heard my name and stood, making my way across the stage, aware that everyone was watching me. I recieved my diploma, shook the principal's hand, and moved my tassle over to the other side. I was a graduate.  
I didn't feel any different. I felt just as sad. I felt just as alone. I needed Alex just as much.

"Here we are. Done with high school." Ellie smiled, raising her glass in happiness. I smiled half-heartedly, not meeting her gaze. "Are you alright?" She asked, sitting the glass back down.  
"No."

"You and Alex?" Ellie looked concerned. Apparently she didn't know.  
"We broke up." I answered quietly, looking down at the floor.  
"Oh. I'm sorry." She frowned, putting her hand over mine.

"It's okay. I'll be fine." I lied. I wouldn't be fine. I'd never be fine. Truth was, I didn't want to be fine. I needed to punish myself for being such a terrible, terrible person. I deserved any punishment that came my way.  
"I'm sure you will be." I nodded at her response, not able to form any words.

Finally, I was starting to break down. Tears found their way to my eyes, and I could barely breathe. I was on the verge of sobbing when I said, "I don't think I'm strong enough for this." Ellie captured me in a hug. It felt nice having her arms around me. I relaxed against her body, and sooner than I wanted, the hug was over.

"I happen to know for a factthat you are. You're one of the strongest people I know." I smiled when she said this. She was right, I was strong. Before I realized what I was doing, I kissed her.  
I guess I got carried away. I was so emotional that I needed someone there, and there she was, being nice, and I took advantage of it. I screwed things up. Again. I was a screw up.

"I'm -- I'm sorry. I have to go."  
And I did go. I got in my car, trunk full of my belongings, and drove until I couldn't drive anymore. I didn't know where I was going, I just knew I had to get away from Degrassi. I couldn't stand the memories staring me in the face. It was so unlike me, leaving like that. My parents would be worried. My friends would be worried. But at that moment, I didn't care about any of that. I needed to escape.

- In my mind  
Everything we did was right  
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side  
_How could I ever have been so blind?  
_You give me something to sleep to at night -

**A/N: Again, short. I plan on uploading next chapter later today, if not tomorrow.**


	10. Where Are You Now?

**"Drop In The Ocean"**

Chapter Nine - Where Are You Now?

- Maybe I'd be better on my own  
_No one ever seems to understand me  
_It's easier for me to be alone  
But there's still a piece of me that feels** so **empty -

**ALEX'S POV**

_**flashback**_

_"That's it, I'm outta here." I had began to walk away, but had felt Marco's grip on my arm. He had pulled me towards him, his eyes begging. He had known I meant leaving Degrassi, for good.  
"But...Paige." He had said helplessly, not letting go of me. I had pushed him away, shaking my head wildly. _

_"I told you Marco, it's over."_

It's been four years since that day. I'd moved to an upscale city and became the manager (and owner) of my own grocery store. I was...well, as happy as I could be without Paige. I hadn't stopped thinking of her. I hadn't forgotten our memories.  
I lived in an apartment by myself, and I was doing okay. I wasn't dating anyone, and was glad. No one could replace Paige in my heart. I loved her as much as I could, and missed her even more than that. I decided to go back. Visit Degrassi. See my old friends. Maybe accidently run into Paige? That was the main reason. I wanted to see her. I ached to see her.

On my drive to Degrassi, I couldn't help feeling apprehensive. I hadn't set foot there for _four years_. What if everything had changed completely? What if my friends had all left? As I came into the town, old memories began flooding back. I passed Marco's house. I made a mental note to go back later, to see if he still lived there. I kept driving until I approached the dot. It was still there, and it was open. With a nervous smile, I parked in the parking lot and walked inside. Much to my luck, I saw a familiar face, with pretty red hair to match.

"Ellie!" I practically tackled her in a hug, glad to see someone I knew.  
"Alex, how have you been?" She asked me, equally excited. I took a seat at her table, wondering how to answer her question. I decided to tell the truth. It couldn't hurt.  
"I've been pretty good. I've got a steady job and everything. Um, I was wondering if you'd happen to know where Paige was." I cut right to the chase. Ellie's face fell. Not good news.

"Um, well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but she's not here anymore. She got out of here on graduation night, and I haven't seen her since. Well, not in person anyway."  
"Why'd she leave like that? What do you mean, not in person? Where else could you have seen her?" I was getting hysterical. Paige, I had to find her. I'd been without her too long. The feelings were the same as they had been then, and that had to be a sign. It just had to be.

"She was upset, and got the wrong idea when I was talking to her. She kissed me," Ellie paused, biting her lip. She was afraid I'd beat her up, I could tell. "Then she high-tailed it out of here. It wasn't like _that_, believe me. I'm straight. But anyway, she's kind of famous now. She's on tv."

"TV? Are you kidding me?" My eyes widened.  
"Not kidding at all. She did a stint on some soap opera down in the US, and I guess she's a regular part of the cast now. I've watched it a couple times. She's pretty good." She answered, taking a drink of her coffee. I nodded, trying to let it all sink in.

"She always had a knack for drama. Where is she now?" I had to know.  
"She's living in LA right now, I think. Unless her address has changed since she wrote me." Ellie took an envelope out of her purse and I snatched it from her, looking at the address. I copied it down quickly, jumping up from my seat in one swift motion.

"Sorry to leave in a hurry, but I have to go. I need to see her. Thank you so much. I'll come back and I'll get ahold of you somehow, don't worry. I'll -- I'll be back!" I shouted over my shoulder, hastily making my way out of the door. It was time to use all that money I'd been saving up to buy a plane ticket for Los Angeles, California.

- I've been all over the world  
I've seen a million different places  
But through the crowds and all the faces  
_I'm still out there looking for you _-

**A/N: Don't have a heart attack, this chapter jumped forward a little bit. And I've given up trying to write long chapters.**


	11. Tuesday Morning

**"Drop In The Ocean"**

Chapter Ten - Tuesday Morning

- Please don't drive me home tonight  
'Cause _I dont wanna feel alone_  
Please don't drive me home tonight  
'Cause I don't wanna go -

**PAIGE'S POV**

I was at home, finally having some time to relax. I just shot my scenes for All My Children, and had the rest of the day to do whatever I wanted. It was nice to know I didn't have to do anything until tomorrow morning. I was stretched out in bed ready to take a nap when I thought I heard a knock on the door. Who could it possibly be? Most people would have called before they came over. I got up, making my way down the stairs and to the front door to open it.

My heart practically bounced out of my chest when I saw here standing there. Alex. The girl I hadn't stopped thinking about since I left Degrassi. She'd been my first girlfriend, and my only one. I'd tried several times to date other people, but it never worked out. No one understood me the way she had. I couldn't help but think I'd never see her again, and that broke my heart. Now here I was, getting my chance. My wish had come true. I felt frozen. I didn't know what to do, or what to say.

We stood there awkwardly for a few moments until I invited her in. She entered, pausing in the doorway to look at me. I smiled, biting my lip. I didn't know how she found me, but I was glad she did. I'd been wondering where she was and what she was doing, if she still remembered me. Apparently she did.

I offered her a seat on the couch, and I remained standing, trying not to show how nervous I was. The girl I loved more than anyone in the world was sitting in my living room, on my couch, looking at me. It was a miracle.

"Would you like a cup of coffee?" I asked her. She nodded.  
"Sounds good." I hurried into the kitchen, pouring her a cup of coffee. I put in some sugar and some milk, and made my way back into the living room. Handing her the cup and sitting down beside of her, I was silent. She took a sip, and instantly a grin appeared on her face.

"You remembered how I like my coffee." Alex sat the cup on the table, turning to look at me. Her eyes scanned mine for a moment before she spoke again. "So you're a big star now. You married?"  
"No. I'm not." I answered quickly, leaning back into the couch and crossing my arms.

"I'm sorry to just...barge in on your life like this. I just had to see how you were and..." Before she could finish, I interrupted her.

"I missed you." There. I said it.

"I missed you, too." My heart skipped a beat when she said this. I licked my lips, reaching forward for her hand. She grabbed it in hers and squeezed it. "Would it be alright if I kissed you now?" She asked me, leaning closer. I could feel her breath on my neck.

"I've wanted nothing more for four very long years." I replied, closing my eyes as she kissed me. It had all the familiarity of before, all the love and passion, but also something new. There was a mature quality to it. We had both grown up, and that much was evident. But she made me feel complete again. Her lips against mine was a revelation. I let my arms fall around her, taking in her scent. It was overwhelming how my feelings came rushing back to me.

"Well, that was fucking amazing." Alex said breathlessly, looking at me in the way only she knew how to. She could look at me and I would get all choked up, just like I was doing now.  
"Again," I pleaded, needing to kiss her again. She complied, a deeper kiss this time, and I found myself getting dizzy. The room began to spin, and I smiled. I pulled away from the kiss to speak. "I love you. I never stopped."

At exactly the wrong moment, my phone rang. Alex let out a laugh of disbelief as I grabbed my cell phone, answering it as normally as I could.  
"Right. Well, we can talk about that another time. I'm a little busy right now. Thanks Justin. Bye." I hung up the phone and she stared at me, as if to ask what the call was about. I couldn't help but grin. She was jealous, I could tell.

"Who's Justin?" She questioned, looking suspicious.  
"One of my co-stars. We have to do this intense scene together tomorrow, and he's freaking out. I'm sorry he called and interrupted us. Now...where were we?"

"What happened with Banting?" She asked out of nowhere. I looked her in the eye, frowning slightly. I felt guilty about what I had done, but glad at the same time.  
"I didn't go. I couldn't do it. Not without you."

"Oh."

I stood from my place on the couch, taking her hand and pulling her up with me.  
"Would you like to go out to dinner with me?" I offered, not letting go of her hand.

"I'm not dressed to go out anywhere. I must look awful." She answered, turning her head away from me. I smiled, she didn't look awful at all.

"You look beautiful. Come on, let's go." I wasn't taking no for an answer. Alex was here with me, and I didn't want her to go. I would take her hostage if I had to.

---

I took her to the best Italian restaurant in town. The atmosphere was amazing, and that's what made it my favorite place. The entire restaurant was done in a mahogany oak, with dim lights and soft jazz music playing in the background. I had a standing reservation there, the private room was always open for me. I was one of their favorite customers -- I spent a lot of money there.

"Ah, Miss Paige," The host smiled, taking my coat. He turned to Alex, taking hers as well. "Right this way." I followed him to the back room, pleasured to hear Alex's footsteps behind mine. I hadn't taken anyone else into my room. I had been saving it for her. I wasn't sure why, but I felt it was a special place that no one else deserved to go. Except for her.

We took our seats, and I looked at her across the table.  
"Wow, you're a big deal now, I guess." She mused, gazing at the silverware sitting there. There were three different kinds of forks, two spoons, and two knives. She looked confused.

"There's the salad fork, the dinner fork, and the dessert fork. Then there's the soup spoon, and the dessert spoon. The knives are obviously a steak knife and a butter knife." I explained as the waiter came to take our order. We ordered our food, and they brought out some white wine.

"I don't know if I'm gonna...fit into your new life. I mean, you're famous and you have a reputation to uphold. You don't need me around to screw that up."  
"No, that's where you're wrong. If they care so much about who I'm with, then they don't matter. You're not screwing anything up. You're making everything better again. I don't make sense without you, Alex. I need you. So please. Stay. For me." I didn't take my eyes off of her, wanting her to respond.

"Alright. I **do** have a job back at home, though. I'll have to call some people, let them know what's going on. But I'll stay, at least for awhile." I smiled. I always got my way. I was getting ready to say something else when I heard the door open. I turned around, annoyed. No one else was supposed to be in here!

"This is a private room." I said, quite rudely. But as the person approached, I realized who it was. I jumped out of my chair, capturing him in a hug. "MARCO!" I practically screamed, hugging him tight to me. I hadn't seen him for a few months. He'd been on vacation in Peru with Dylan. They were still together, and as tight as ever.

"Alex?" His eyes widened as he came closer, Alex's face becoming visible.

"Yep." She answered, blushing a little.

"Oh Paige, you. Oh." He was quiet, grinning widely. "YOU'RE ON A DATE!" He jumped up in the air happily, making Alex and I wince. He'd always been so exciteable. "You know what? I'm gonna go. But you," Marco gestured towards me. "Have to call me." He winked, leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

It was perfect. Nothing could have made it better. We had our date, laughed over old times, and talked about everything. It was like we'd never been away from each other. We still fit. She still made me smile, and I still made her _better_. It was so sickeningly beautiful, and I loved it.

**A/N: I am writing a sequel, but I still have one chapter to go after this one. Oh and I picked my favorite soap opera to be the one Paige is in. **


	12. Drop In The Ocean

**"Drop In The Ocean"**

Chapter Eleven - Drop In The Ocean

- Love took me by the hand  
Love took me by surprise  
_Love led me to you_  
And love opened up my eyes -

**ALEX'S POV**

"Jesus. What time is it?" I asked. It was too early. Paige was up and getting dressed, and it wasn't even light outside! I rolled over, tiredly watching her put on some clothes.  
"It's four. I told you, I have to get up early for work." She pulled on a pair of jeans and made her way over to me, planting a kiss on my forehead. "I'll miss you."  
I shot up from the bed like a bullet. "You're leaving me here? Can't I go with you?"

"Are you sure you want to? It's really not all that exciting." She answered with a smile.  
"I don't care. I want to go. Give me five minutes."

I jumped out from under the covers, running into the bathroom and taking the fastest shower in history. I came back out, grabbed some of Paige's clothes (ugh, pink!), and got dressed. When I was done, I noticed she was grinning.  
"You look cute in pink." She teased, putting her arms around my waist. She kissed me quickly on the lips, and then grabbed her keys, ready to go.

It was overwhelming how fast things had happened. I got Paige's address from Ellie, came all the way to LA, and saw Paige. We went out on a dinner date, and well, last night was the best night of my life. We made love...for the very first time. Now I was going with her to work. I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't care. I was happy here with her -- and that's what mattered.

As soon as we got on set, Paige had to begin the _long_ hair and makeup process. I waited in her room for a few hours, then decided to take out my cell phone and call the store so I could sort everything out.

"Jess, it's Alex," Jessica was the other manager at the store I worked at. She and I had a fling once -- okay, more like a series of one-night stands. She was hot, sure, but I didn't feel anything for her. She liked me though, a lot. "I just wanted to let you know I probably won't be coming back for awhile. Some things have come up, and I need to stay where I am. I'll work things out with you when I get back. I don't think I'll be staying there. I'm probably moving to Los Angeles."

"LA? What's in LA?" She asked, sounding curious.  
"I found her." I didn't have to say much. She knew what I meant. I'd told her about Paige. Hell, I'd even moaned her name on accident a couple times.

"Alright, well you know you do own the place. It'll be weird without you here. Old Mr. Duffy's been asking about you every time he comes in here to pick up his peaches." Mr. Duffy was a nice old man who, for some odd reason, came to the store every day to buy some peaches. And I DID own the store, because of some bizarre turn of events. There was this woman riding the subway, and somehow we'd got to talking. She was dying of leukemia, and I guess I just latched onto her. We became really close, and when she died, she left the place to me. It was the only thing she had. I felt bad leaving it like that, but right now Paige was the number one priority.

"I'm sorry I left like this. It's just something I had to do."  
"I understand, Alex. I'll...be seeing you." She hung up the phone, and I sighed.

I jumped about twenty feet in the air when I looked at the doorway. There was a guy standing there. He had sandy brown hair and was a nice build, and he was also staring at me.  
"Who are you?" I asked him, standing up.  
"I could ask you the same thing." He answered.

"I'm...Alex." I said carefully, not wanting to give anything away.

"I'm Justin." I remembered Paige talking about him as soon as he told me his name.

"Oh! Paige's co-star. Right. Nice to meet you." I thrust out my hand, shaking his eagerly. I didn't have _any_ idea who he was, but he was obviously famous in some way, and there were probably millions of girls that would love to have his hand germs. So I took advantage of the opportunity.

"You know Paige? Wait a minute. You're not...THE Alex are you?" He grinned, taking me by surprise as he gave me a hug. The Alex? Since when did I have a 'the' in front of my name?

"I see you met Justin."

I heard a familiar voice. Paige. She was wearing full makeup and her hair was curled. She looked different, but still very pretty. I nodded, gazing at Justin for a second.

"So **this** is Alex." Justin replied, still grinning. It was obvious she'd told him about me. I couldn't help but wonder what she said. Seemed positive rather than negative, though.  
"Yes. It is." Paige looked at me.

"You were right. She IS pretty." He agreed.

- And every time I drift away  
I lose myself in you  
And now I see **I can be me**  
In everything I do -

**PAIGE'S POV**

I was glad when Justin got to meet Alex. I had been a little hesitant to let her go with me on set, but didn't want her to sit home all by herself. Now I was happy I brought her. I'd told Justin the whole story. He was the only one who knew that part of me. He was probably my best friend on set. I used to think he was really hot, but now I'd just gotten used to having him around. Besides, I wasn't interested in guys anymore. I wasn't sure why, it just happened. Even then, he was dating another one of the girls on the show. They were really cute together.

"I told him all about you," I explained, squeezing Alex's hand. It was nice to be able to do that. "He's the only one I've told so far, but still. So I bet he's as excited to see you as I am."  
"I just know how happy you must be." Justin grinned, his dimples visible.

I turned to Alex, not wanting to leave her. It was almost time for me to go out there and do my scenes. I knew if she was there, it would make me a nervous wreck.  
"Why don't you give Marco a call and go hang out with him for a little while? I'll get ahold of you when the taping's finished." I made sure the door was closed before I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. I hated sending her away, but knew she'd be bored to tears here at the set. And I was sure Marco was dying to talk to her.

"Alright." I gave her his number, and watched her leave. I knew she was going to have a blast hanging out with Marco all day. I couldn't help but feel sad that I couldn't come along.

"Man. So when did this happen?" Justin asked after she had left, eyes sparkling.  
"Yesterday. I'll give you all the details later." I raised my eyebrows for emphasis. We began practicing our lines before we had to go tape our scene. I loved this. Sharing Alex with everyone. Sooner or later I was going to have to come out publicly. To everyone.

**ALEX'S POV**

"I'm glad you called me. I don't have any plans today. That's what is so cool about being your own boss. You see, Dylan and I have an interior designs company now. It's pretty awesome getting to decorate people's houses and getting paid for it." Marco was saying as we drove to the mall.

"You know, that sounds cool. I own this grocery store back in Canada, and it's a nice place, but I can't help feeling I should do something better. I think I want to go back to college, maybe become a school counselor. I know I wouldn't make much money, but as fucked up as my life has been, I feel like I should help people like me. I don't know. It probably sounds totally stupid." I blushed, fiddling with the seatbelt.

"No, it sounds totally perfect." He beamed, putting the car in park and heading into the giant mall. I followed, knowing this was going to be an interesting time.

"So you guys are back together now. That's exciting news." Marco said conversationally as we walked into the first store. I nodded. I hated shopping. The only time I'd ever let someone drag me out to the mall was when I went with Paige a few times. Then it was worth it. But now? Maybe it wouldn't be that bad.

"What do you think of this shirt?" He held up a hideous shirt, and I had to stifle my laugh. I didn't want to lie and let him buy the terrible thing, god knows the price was probably insane.

"Honestly? I think it's ugly as hell."

"You've never been one for fashion. Well hey, how about I treat you to a nice shopping spree? I'm sure all your clothes are still at home, and I'm equally sure you don't want to be wearing Paige's clothes much longer." Marco pointed at the pink shirt I was wearing to emphasize his point.

He was right. Getting some new clothes was a good idea.

"Fine, but I have to pay you back. I hate it when people just give me stuff."  
He shrugged.

---

I was exhausted. Marco and I's hands were bombarded with dozens of shopping bags. He made me go totally overboard. I felt like my arms were going to fall off. My cell phone rang. I sat the bags down in a heap, grabbing it eagerly. I knew it was Paige.

"Having fun?" Her chipper voice called out in my ear. I smiled.  
"Yes, but I think my arms might fall off. How about Marco and I meet you at the house in a few?" I suggested. She agreed, and that's what we did.

- 'Cause I was feeling as small  
as a** drop in the ocean**  
And now I realize that  
_nothing has been as beautiful_  
As when I saw heaven's skies  
In your eyes -

**A/N: I'm so sad to end this. But the sequel makes me feel better. I hope it makes all of you feel better too. Please review, I want to know what you thought of my story if you stuck with it the whole way through. Thank you for reading, I really appreciate it.**


	13. Conclusion

**"Drop In The Ocean"**

Conclusion

I could tell this was the start of something new, and it felt right. We loved each other, more than the sun and the moon, more than the stars. We loved each other with everything in ourselves. Maybe our future together wasn't planned, but it was there, and our happiness was inevitable. I treasured Paige. She was the only thing in my life that had remained constant. I truly believed we were meant to be. Wherever our lives happened to take us, it would be together.

This wasn't the end. This was the beginning of a new story, and we didn't know what our new story was going to be about. But that didn't matter, because we had each other. We were Palex. Now and forever.


End file.
